People in 12-step groups, the various “anonymous” programs, are very familiar with the reminder -- a cornerstone of recovery from addiction -- “One day at a time.” We counselors also use the concept to help people in crisis situations. We teach that focusing on this moment, this day, taking care of only what is in front of you right now,  eases the strain on an already overtaxed mind. “Take one day at a time” is actually sound advice for good mental health, for all of us, every day, even where addiction or crises aren’t part of your story!  On a day to day basis, staying focused on the day is part of becoming more deliberate with your mind, which can create feelings of clarity and calm. When your thoughts are not in the day at hand, you are probably visiting either the past or the future. Both of those places have both positive and negative territory -- your emotional reactions will tell you which territory you are in.

When your thoughts are on the past, they can have different kinds of emotional energy -- sadness, regret, resentment; warmth, love, happiness – sometimes unlikely combinations of many different emotions! I find that many people who feel depressed tend to vividly remember and re-live their regrets and their resentments -- much of their emotional energy is used in a repetitive loop of criticism of themselves or others. This way of being in the past is not the same as reminiscing or storytelling, which are uplifting and cause a feeling of expansion. Yesterday's regrets and resentments do not uplift, they constrict and drain vital energy from this moment. Recalling the ways we were hurt, or the mistakes we made in the past can rob of us the possibility for joy in the here and now.   When we stay focused on today, with the intention of feeling well, we create less room for yesterday's emotional toxins.

Thinking about the future can also go a few different ways. One is the positive and energizing direction of planning. Buying tickets for a show or booking the rental property for vacation feels great!! Looking ahead and working today to create something positive for your future self is emotionally beneficial! I also consider fantasy another form of future thinking -- on some level, no matter how far out, the possibilities of all fantasies lie in the future. Fantasy can be really fun, or It can be awful and scary, as it is when we worry.  Worry is simply a fantasy about terrible outcomes. We imagine all the worst possibilities, in order to he prepared, to not be surprised. There may be some logic to that; however the toll on the body and spirit of a mind focused on the most negative conclusions is enormous. Every person I have ever seen with anxiety, to a one, has been worried about future outcomes. Their minds are flooded in a "whatifwhatifwhatifwhatif" tsunami, going over and over, around and around, with little ability to stop the motion.

 You can learn to pay attention to your thoughts in order to really know where you spend your time-- past, present, or future? The best way to do this is to check in, to notice, on purpose, how you feel. Are your thoughts of the past generating feelings of warmth and love? Do you feel lighter, happier, reflecting on those moments? If so, enjoy! But if your thoughts of the past are generating feelings of pain -- regret or resentment, deliberately changing your thoughts to today can help. Likewise, if thinking of the future generates feelings of excitement and anticipation, keep it up -- those feelings of fun are good for you! But if you feel worried or scared about something that is going to happen, try as soon as you can catch yourself, pull your awareness back to the present. Sometimes the momentum of worry can get pretty powerful; redirecting is not as easy as “just let it go.”  

One technique to get yourself into "now mode" is to use your five senses. Identify what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling in this exact moment. Actively listening to how many sounds are actually going on around you, for instance, can be an amazing thing! You start to realize how much your mind simply relegates to some back lot of awareness, to make room for all other focusing it wants to do!! Spending just a few moments of deliberately directing your attention to your immediate surroundings can anchor you in today, away from the pitfalls of the past and the landmines of the future. Your mind will wander away from today all the time -- it’s like a toddler that way. Take a breath, calmly retrieve your thoughts and bring them back to this moment! Today is where your life is!

Peace.